Avoiding The Ugly In Child Custody Mediation
Divorce is never easy on anyone involved, but it can be especially hard on children that feel situated directly between the two parties that are attempting to split. If you and your former spouse have decided to attempt child custody mediation, it’s not a done deal until the agreement is signed. Here are a few things to avoid while going through the process.
Child custody mediation is different than going to court. You and your former spouse aren’t pitted against one another to fight things out. In some ways, you are on the same side. You both want what’s best for your child and you have to figure out what that is together. There is no purpose in reminding your spouse of things he or she has done in the past that hurt you. Pointing out faults and character flaws will just turn things ugly, it won’t help the mediation move forward.
Mediation is all about meeting one another in the middle, whatever that might look like. If you feel like you want it a certain way and no other way will do, mediation is not going to work for you. It’s all about compromise and a healthy give and take. If you aren’t going to compromise at all, there’s nothing the mediator can do for you.
Include The Child
You want to know how your child feels about what’s going on, of course, but the last thing you want to do is put them in the middle of the situation. Ask them about their emotions, but don’t try to make them say they want to live with you or that they don’t want to visit their other parent very often. As the adult, you and your spouse get to decide what’s best. Anything the child says could make him feel very guilty—and could very well hurt other feelings as well.
Mediation can take a short or long amount of time, depending on how much there is to work out. But when it comes down to mediation or going to court, keep in mind that mediation is the better avenue for everyone involved. When you go to court, you may not get anything you want, and you can’t do anything about it. The judge decides and what that judge says, goes. In mediation, you and your spouse make the decisions and agree to the terms. You can both get what you want, in a way. Even when the going gets tough and it doesn’t feel like anything’s ever going to be settled, don’t give up.
Child Custody Mediation Help
If you’ve never been divorced before and don’t really know anyone who has gone through child custody mediation, you likely have a lot of anxiety about your situation and the process in general. Contact South Bay Mediation with your questions. We’re here to give you the details about child custody mediation so you can make the right decision for your family.