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South Bay Mediation - 6 Things That Differentiate a Good Mediator

The 6 Things That Differentiate a Good Divorce Mediator

Divorce is never easy. From the flare of tempers and emotions to the pain of losing the person you used to be close to, divorce is the last resort when all attempts at reconciliation have failed. What can help take the sting out of the process is coming to a divorce agreement that you can both live with—and a good divorce mediator can help.


As you look for a divorce mediator to help you and your ex work through the dissolution of your marriage and all the issues that entails—from splitting property to sharing custody—use this list to help find the right mediator for you.



Many divorce mediators have advanced degrees in fields such as family and marriage therapy or law. A well-educated mediator can help you feel more secure in their knowledge of marital and family law for the state in which your divorce is being filed. They may also have special certifications showing they have been trained in conflict resolution and other mediation-related skills. For example, in California, there is special certification for mediators. Check if your state also requires specific licensing or certification to ensure your mediator of choice has the correct qualifications.



The more experience a mediator has, the more real-world knowledge they can call upon when faced with the specifics of your divorce. For example, if they’ve helped countless clients negotiate co-parenting agreements or property disputes, it’s likely they have almost seen it all. This knowledge can help you negotiate solutions that you otherwise may not have realized were realistic options. Even more importantly, an experienced mediator can help inform you of the legal and financial implications of your decisions, both now and in the future.


A Strong Team

A divorce mediation firm is only as strong as its team. Look for a firm that offers expertise in multiple areas, including custody and financial planning and advising. A good mediator will also encourage you to seek out outside help when you need it, such as a business accounting specialist if you and your ex are splitting a business you started together. They will also encourage you and your ex to each have legal counsel to examine the divorce mediation agreement before you file.



During your divorce proceedings, the last thing you need is an unempathetic, uncaring person who is supposed to be there to help you. This can become a source of additional friction during an already delicate process. When you consult with potential mediators, ask yourself if you will feel comfortable telling them information usually kept private, such as your parenting philosophy and choices, financial data, and the other intimate details that come out during a divorce. Choose a mediator who treats both you and your ex with respect and compassion.



A mediator is someone who will be in the middle of the situation and must remain neutral. Their job is to not side with either party at any time, but rather facilitate a discussion between the two parties in order to reach a fair agreement. If you feel the mediator is leaning in one direction or another, seek another mediator.


Upfront Information

You will also want a mediator who is upfront about the entire process. A full, comprehensive divorce takes between three and eight sessions with a mediator. But that will depend on the complexity, number of issues, and level of conflict of your situation. In order to get a realistic answer from the mediator on cost and time constraints, you will need to be frank about your situation. The more prepared you are, the more upfront they can be. They should be direct in all of their dealings with you.


Find What You Need In South Bay Mediation

Different mediators offer different skills, but you can find just what you need in a fair mediator with South Bay Mediation. We have effective, affordable mediation options to get everything resolved in an agreeable divorce settlement.


Contact South Bay Mediation to set up a free consultation to learn more about the divorce mediation process and ask all the questions you need to find out if we are the right mediator for you.

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